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On the Unnecessary Existence of Mayhem
by Noctir (Dec. 2017)
Popular culture is a funny thing. There have been countless people with real talent who still fell through the cracks. Some struggle for decades and amount to nothing. Then others seem to be in the right place at the right time, maybe know the right people, and make a name for themselves without ever having to prove anything again. How many actors do well in one or two films, make it big, and then bomb for years afterward? An author can write a decent book, get their name out there, then become a brand so future books sell just from name recognition alone. The same is true with music. It seems all a band has to do is make one or two well-received albums, then they are established forever. They can churn out generic, mediocre rubbish year after year, just mindless cookie-cutter filler with no character, and people will consume, consume, consume. So many bands coast on reputations made two or three decades ago. On one hand, they were relevant once. But does that entitle them to a lifetime of easy existence based on a couple good albums?
Look at bands like Cannibal Corpse and Deicide. It is astonishing they still exist. Musically, both said everything they could back in the early 1990s. Most agree Cannibal Corpse became irrelevant after Chris Barnes left, though they managed one more decent album with 1998’s Gallery of Suicide. After that, they have been creatively bankrupt. As for Deicide, I prefer their self-titled debut over Legion, but the consensus is they have not matched that quality since 1992. They went on to make many terrible albums, even admitting one was thrown together just to finish a contract and free themselves from their label. What happened to bands that made a few albums then broke up? Many joined the reunion craze when they saw an audience willing to pay to hear washed-up has-beens cash in on the past. Even Immortal, who changed styles and tried different things, settled near the end of their first run. Two reunions saw them rehash material from almost two decades ago, adding nothing of worth and just making money off the dimwitted metal crowd. It is all about pumping out products to satisfy labels and justify tours where people mainly come to hear the classics and do not care about new songs.
The sad truth is that most of the best albums were made by kids. Kreator’s members were not old enough to drive and had to skip school to record their debut. These kids just screw around for fun, make some music that gets noticed, then never have to work real jobs or worry again. They become brands no longer held to any standard. Those dummies just know Band X is “cool” and buy everything they release, go to shows, and buy t-shirts. It does not matter that the band has been phoning it in since before the Berlin Wall came down. At least those people are still making a living off their own work from long ago.
Out of the innumerable bands whose existence is totally unnecessary, Mayhem has to be near the top of the list. Twenty-four years have passed since the official release of De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. In the two and a half decades since, they have produced only four more full-lengths, all meaningless and generic trash. More than almost any other band still around, Mayhem epitomizes a group coasting on reputation. Just look at all the low-effort releases they’ve signed off on recently: Live in Zeitz, Live in Sarpsborg, Live in Jessheim, and even the Life Eternal E.P. These poor-quality live recordings have existed on bootlegs for decades, and the alternate mixes for De Mysteriis are too similar to be worthwhile. They’re shameless in squeezing every last drop from “their” past. It’s pathetic and goes against everything real black metal should stand for (not that they’re alone). They know they can’t create anything worthy of the Mayhem legacy, so they desperately cash in on it for as long as possible. Look at De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas Alive. Ninety-nine percent of the audience comes for the old material because they haven’t done anything notable since. If they could, they’d go full-on KISS with merchandising and whoring out their name. But that isn’t even the worst part.
Who built Mayhem’s reputation? Who created the iconic songs and memorable lyrics? Who shaped the aesthetic? The answer is simple. The legacy is mostly the work of Euronymous and Dead. It’s well documented that Euronymous had help from Snorre Ruch developing what became the typical Norwegian black metal guitar riff. Can most people at modern Mayhem gigs even name their guitarists? Probably not, because they’re just cogs like the placeholders before them. Name one classic Mayhem song post-1994. There isn’t one. Those rotten-sounding live recordings feature Euronymous on guitar and mostly Dead on vocals. These two have been posthumously exploited almost like Kurt Cobain. Most of the stuff is worthless and sounds awful, but since Euronymous and Dead lurk somewhere in the noise, dimwits throw down their parents’ money anyway. The only classic lineup material worth having is Live in Leipzig, Out from the Dark, and the two studio tracks from 1990, all released long ago. The current members don’t care about quality. If they found recordings of Euronymous and Dead suffering explosive diarrhea, they’d try to make money off it. Why? Because Jan Axel Blomberg and Jørn Stubberud are bums incapable of creating anything meaningful and prefer to rest on others’ laurels. It gets worse.
According to interviews and letters, Euronymous had many problems with these two, as neither was serious or dedicated. Jørn was a bassist, which means nothing in this music, and his lyrical contributions to Deathcrush were comical. He preferred spending time with his girlfriend and showed little devotion. After he left (maybe his only noble act), Euronymous said he wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway. Jan was a drunk who ruined gigs with alcoholism, more likely listening to glam rock and chasing skirts than caring about Mayhem. Competent drummers are always in demand, so others tolerate the baggage. Dead wanted to replace Jan with Faust from Emperor. Likely, Euronymous would have replaced Jan sooner or later. By the time De Mysteriis was recorded, Mayhem had only two official members. Months later, through dumb luck, this guy was the last man standing. With all the publicity Norwegian black metal had gotten (mostly for the wrong reasons), Jan smelled opportunity. No one cared about him or his other projects, but Mayhem’s name was valuable. Jørn was welcomed back along with former session vocalist Maniac (possibly to legitimize the lineup), and the decades-long rape of the band’s corpse began. They later replaced him with another former session vocalist whose biggest claim to fame was a controversial performance on the band’s first L.P. To date, none have added anything to the legacy. They and whoever plays guitar now do nothing but cash in on a reputation they had no part in creating. (Don’t consider Jørn’s claims of writing “half” of De Mysteriis; he’s contradicted himself and conveniently claims the work of a man dead since 1993 who can’t respond.)
I’ve read and heard enough to think neither Euronymous nor Dead were particularly likeable. I’ll never agree with distributing those death photos, nor that torturing and killing animals makes one more genuine in this music, and there are many other questionable examples. Still, that doesn’t change that they were irreplaceable and embodied Mayhem’s true essence. Twenty-four years after their only relevant album, with the real creative forces long dead, the degenerate drummer and bassist keep making a living off others’ work and likenesses. The real Mayhem died and should have been buried two decades ago but instead exists as a cash-grab and nostalgia show. They leech off the past like so many others, without a shred of integrity.
How pathetic that these middle-aged losers pretend they’re still 18 or 20. After the first couple albums, musicians usually lose passion and creativity. Then again, it’s all business and they probably can’t make it in the real world. Too bad the idiot fans think it’s art and that it means something. It doesn’t. You’re just a customer buying a product. Fans get disappointed thinking a band still around might recapture the old magic and make another classic. Not only is that impossible, it’s not even the musicians’ goal. They’re just pumping out another unit. Don’t be fooled.
Look at bands like Cannibal Corpse and Deicide. It is astonishing they still exist. Musically, both said everything they could back in the early 1990s. Most agree Cannibal Corpse became irrelevant after Chris Barnes left, though they managed one more decent album with 1998’s Gallery of Suicide. After that, they have been creatively bankrupt. As for Deicide, I prefer their self-titled debut over Legion, but the consensus is they have not matched that quality since 1992. They went on to make many terrible albums, even admitting one was thrown together just to finish a contract and free themselves from their label. What happened to bands that made a few albums then broke up? Many joined the reunion craze when they saw an audience willing to pay to hear washed-up has-beens cash in on the past. Even Immortal, who changed styles and tried different things, settled near the end of their first run. Two reunions saw them rehash material from almost two decades ago, adding nothing of worth and just making money off the dimwitted metal crowd. It is all about pumping out products to satisfy labels and justify tours where people mainly come to hear the classics and do not care about new songs.
The sad truth is that most of the best albums were made by kids. Kreator’s members were not old enough to drive and had to skip school to record their debut. These kids just screw around for fun, make some music that gets noticed, then never have to work real jobs or worry again. They become brands no longer held to any standard. Those dummies just know Band X is “cool” and buy everything they release, go to shows, and buy t-shirts. It does not matter that the band has been phoning it in since before the Berlin Wall came down. At least those people are still making a living off their own work from long ago.
Out of the innumerable bands whose existence is totally unnecessary, Mayhem has to be near the top of the list. Twenty-four years have passed since the official release of De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. In the two and a half decades since, they have produced only four more full-lengths, all meaningless and generic trash. More than almost any other band still around, Mayhem epitomizes a group coasting on reputation. Just look at all the low-effort releases they’ve signed off on recently: Live in Zeitz, Live in Sarpsborg, Live in Jessheim, and even the Life Eternal E.P. These poor-quality live recordings have existed on bootlegs for decades, and the alternate mixes for De Mysteriis are too similar to be worthwhile. They’re shameless in squeezing every last drop from “their” past. It’s pathetic and goes against everything real black metal should stand for (not that they’re alone). They know they can’t create anything worthy of the Mayhem legacy, so they desperately cash in on it for as long as possible. Look at De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas Alive. Ninety-nine percent of the audience comes for the old material because they haven’t done anything notable since. If they could, they’d go full-on KISS with merchandising and whoring out their name. But that isn’t even the worst part.
Who built Mayhem’s reputation? Who created the iconic songs and memorable lyrics? Who shaped the aesthetic? The answer is simple. The legacy is mostly the work of Euronymous and Dead. It’s well documented that Euronymous had help from Snorre Ruch developing what became the typical Norwegian black metal guitar riff. Can most people at modern Mayhem gigs even name their guitarists? Probably not, because they’re just cogs like the placeholders before them. Name one classic Mayhem song post-1994. There isn’t one. Those rotten-sounding live recordings feature Euronymous on guitar and mostly Dead on vocals. These two have been posthumously exploited almost like Kurt Cobain. Most of the stuff is worthless and sounds awful, but since Euronymous and Dead lurk somewhere in the noise, dimwits throw down their parents’ money anyway. The only classic lineup material worth having is Live in Leipzig, Out from the Dark, and the two studio tracks from 1990, all released long ago. The current members don’t care about quality. If they found recordings of Euronymous and Dead suffering explosive diarrhea, they’d try to make money off it. Why? Because Jan Axel Blomberg and Jørn Stubberud are bums incapable of creating anything meaningful and prefer to rest on others’ laurels. It gets worse.
According to interviews and letters, Euronymous had many problems with these two, as neither was serious or dedicated. Jørn was a bassist, which means nothing in this music, and his lyrical contributions to Deathcrush were comical. He preferred spending time with his girlfriend and showed little devotion. After he left (maybe his only noble act), Euronymous said he wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway. Jan was a drunk who ruined gigs with alcoholism, more likely listening to glam rock and chasing skirts than caring about Mayhem. Competent drummers are always in demand, so others tolerate the baggage. Dead wanted to replace Jan with Faust from Emperor. Likely, Euronymous would have replaced Jan sooner or later. By the time De Mysteriis was recorded, Mayhem had only two official members. Months later, through dumb luck, this guy was the last man standing. With all the publicity Norwegian black metal had gotten (mostly for the wrong reasons), Jan smelled opportunity. No one cared about him or his other projects, but Mayhem’s name was valuable. Jørn was welcomed back along with former session vocalist Maniac (possibly to legitimize the lineup), and the decades-long rape of the band’s corpse began. They later replaced him with another former session vocalist whose biggest claim to fame was a controversial performance on the band’s first L.P. To date, none have added anything to the legacy. They and whoever plays guitar now do nothing but cash in on a reputation they had no part in creating. (Don’t consider Jørn’s claims of writing “half” of De Mysteriis; he’s contradicted himself and conveniently claims the work of a man dead since 1993 who can’t respond.)
I’ve read and heard enough to think neither Euronymous nor Dead were particularly likeable. I’ll never agree with distributing those death photos, nor that torturing and killing animals makes one more genuine in this music, and there are many other questionable examples. Still, that doesn’t change that they were irreplaceable and embodied Mayhem’s true essence. Twenty-four years after their only relevant album, with the real creative forces long dead, the degenerate drummer and bassist keep making a living off others’ work and likenesses. The real Mayhem died and should have been buried two decades ago but instead exists as a cash-grab and nostalgia show. They leech off the past like so many others, without a shred of integrity.
How pathetic that these middle-aged losers pretend they’re still 18 or 20. After the first couple albums, musicians usually lose passion and creativity. Then again, it’s all business and they probably can’t make it in the real world. Too bad the idiot fans think it’s art and that it means something. It doesn’t. You’re just a customer buying a product. Fans get disappointed thinking a band still around might recapture the old magic and make another classic. Not only is that impossible, it’s not even the musicians’ goal. They’re just pumping out another unit. Don’t be fooled.
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